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Spontaneity in the age of covid.
Jun. 2nd, 2021 05:16 pmThanks to the CDC and Greg Fucking Abbott, it's maskless, pre-covid levels of fuckery here in Texas. Once again I took some days off (stored up vacation time that was going to not roll over to the next quarter and be effectively lost if I didn't use it) aaaand now I'm having a bad mental health week again. My anxiety is through the roof.
I got some Delta 8 edibles, but they may be making my OCD rumination worse, not better.
I went to Northpark Mall for the first time in 15 months, and my first thought after walking around a bit was that I am maybe finally over the mall.
The mall used to be my place to go to be around people but by myself, if that makes sense. To see life. To walk around and take in the scenery. But now, even after being vaccinated, being around other people makes me nervous. And aside from the people, it was just the same old stores, same old concrete statuary and facades, same old decorative plant arrangements. I didn't stay long.
But anyway, one thing I realized that I really miss more than anything is the ability to just go somewhere spontaneously, just because I feel like going. Even vaccinated, going anywhere now takes a crapton of planning, consideration, and emotional energy to navigate it in my mind. Will it be outside? How many people will be there? Are they social distancing? Vaccinated? Are there decent bathroom facilities/the option of handwashing? In the case of the mall, it was like "is getting this coffee/these bath bombs worth it if I have to go into a smaller space with a crowd of people who aren't masking?" And so on.
ETA (cross posted from the comments) And I forgot (because of my ADHD and also because the news cycle moves that quickly) there was a shooting scare at that same mall a day later! https://www.dallasnews.com/news/2021/06/01/man-whose-actions-led-to-shooting-scare-at-northpark-center-doesnt-face-charges-dallas-police-say/
Apparently it was mentally disturbed person "finger shooting" people and hitting stuff with his skateboard, but it caused enough of a panic that one of my friends who was there got bruised in the push to evacuate. This wasn't a shooting - but it's not too farfetched to think that it could have been, or it might still happen, things being what they are these days.
In the Before Times, the mall was a place to do some walking (in the air conditioning - this part of Texas is unbearably hot a lot of the year) and then grab a coffee/pretzel and just see the sights. Now, I really don't feel ok hanging out where a lot of people are.
The few people I know who have gone back to see movies in the theater did not have a super great time, for similar reasons. I may go back for Dune. I *will* be going back for Matrix 4, but maybe not before that. We'll see.
I really hope there's not another spike/3rd or 4th wave or whatever. I'm hearing a lot of hopeful stuff about how at least the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines seem to be stopping this thing in its tracks. I guess we'll see.
Anyway, I found a new electronics store (Altex Electronics) here in Carrollton, and one thing led to another and I built another lightsaber (LOL, once again, ignore my unmade bed.)
Really, I'm nostalgic for the old days of Frys Electronics, where I could hang out all afternoon, pick up computer parts, really good coffee, DVDs, CDs, and books, while were people doing the Cha Cha Slide or DDR or playing whatever new Wii party game was on display.
So much of this was already on its way out because of Amazon. Covid 19 just drove the final nails into the coffin. But at least Altex is still around.
The Matrix Online Emulator (MxOEMU) is getting more ready for primetime. Enough of us apparently bugged Rajkosto about it enough that sitting works again!
This is actually a super big deal. The ability to do actually do combat again (outside of animation macros, which is how we had hacked being able to sit previously) may be next!
And that's not all! Some of the NPCs that used to have quest dialogue have that dialogue again (as opposed to error messages) and there are now a bunch of vendors that sell items congregated in Tabor Park. For twelve years since The Matrix Online was shut down, the MxO Emu project has been slowly working towards getting the emulator back to an operational, playable state, like one of the WoW private servers (before Blizzard cracked down on those.) Stuff is happening, and it's exciting!
Current Mood: This video, which is one of my favorite lightsaber tutorials, because other than his tools and the metal shop and the blade wrap/packaging plastic and the clear PVC he is using for the blade, just about everything he is using came from IKEA.
I got some Delta 8 edibles, but they may be making my OCD rumination worse, not better.
I went to Northpark Mall for the first time in 15 months, and my first thought after walking around a bit was that I am maybe finally over the mall.
The mall used to be my place to go to be around people but by myself, if that makes sense. To see life. To walk around and take in the scenery. But now, even after being vaccinated, being around other people makes me nervous. And aside from the people, it was just the same old stores, same old concrete statuary and facades, same old decorative plant arrangements. I didn't stay long.
But anyway, one thing I realized that I really miss more than anything is the ability to just go somewhere spontaneously, just because I feel like going. Even vaccinated, going anywhere now takes a crapton of planning, consideration, and emotional energy to navigate it in my mind. Will it be outside? How many people will be there? Are they social distancing? Vaccinated? Are there decent bathroom facilities/the option of handwashing? In the case of the mall, it was like "is getting this coffee/these bath bombs worth it if I have to go into a smaller space with a crowd of people who aren't masking?" And so on.
ETA (cross posted from the comments) And I forgot (because of my ADHD and also because the news cycle moves that quickly) there was a shooting scare at that same mall a day later! https://www.dallasnews.com/news/2021/06/01/man-whose-actions-led-to-shooting-scare-at-northpark-center-doesnt-face-charges-dallas-police-say/
Apparently it was mentally disturbed person "finger shooting" people and hitting stuff with his skateboard, but it caused enough of a panic that one of my friends who was there got bruised in the push to evacuate. This wasn't a shooting - but it's not too farfetched to think that it could have been, or it might still happen, things being what they are these days.
In the Before Times, the mall was a place to do some walking (in the air conditioning - this part of Texas is unbearably hot a lot of the year) and then grab a coffee/pretzel and just see the sights. Now, I really don't feel ok hanging out where a lot of people are.
The few people I know who have gone back to see movies in the theater did not have a super great time, for similar reasons. I may go back for Dune. I *will* be going back for Matrix 4, but maybe not before that. We'll see.
I really hope there's not another spike/3rd or 4th wave or whatever. I'm hearing a lot of hopeful stuff about how at least the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines seem to be stopping this thing in its tracks. I guess we'll see.
Anyway, I found a new electronics store (Altex Electronics) here in Carrollton, and one thing led to another and I built another lightsaber (LOL, once again, ignore my unmade bed.)
Really, I'm nostalgic for the old days of Frys Electronics, where I could hang out all afternoon, pick up computer parts, really good coffee, DVDs, CDs, and books, while were people doing the Cha Cha Slide or DDR or playing whatever new Wii party game was on display.
So much of this was already on its way out because of Amazon. Covid 19 just drove the final nails into the coffin. But at least Altex is still around.
The Matrix Online Emulator (MxOEMU) is getting more ready for primetime. Enough of us apparently bugged Rajkosto about it enough that sitting works again!
This is actually a super big deal. The ability to do actually do combat again (outside of animation macros, which is how we had hacked being able to sit previously) may be next!
And that's not all! Some of the NPCs that used to have quest dialogue have that dialogue again (as opposed to error messages) and there are now a bunch of vendors that sell items congregated in Tabor Park. For twelve years since The Matrix Online was shut down, the MxO Emu project has been slowly working towards getting the emulator back to an operational, playable state, like one of the WoW private servers (before Blizzard cracked down on those.) Stuff is happening, and it's exciting!
Current Mood: This video, which is one of my favorite lightsaber tutorials, because other than his tools and the metal shop and the blade wrap/packaging plastic and the clear PVC he is using for the blade, just about everything he is using came from IKEA.
