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I think this is my midlife crisis.
Oct. 7th, 2019 06:30 amAs the outline for my fic is finally coming together, I think I have figured something out about myself.
I think this is my midlife crisis.
And it may be shared. I have seen so many Gen Xers come out of the woodwork going "NEW MATRIX FILM OMG" and honestly it's rather gratifying after hearing people sneer about the sequels for fifteen years. The fact that there are Gen Z kids seeing these films for the first time and going "Wait, people thought the sequels were bad???" is pretty awesome too.
But the theme that keeps coming up for me anyway is a real desire to reclaim the period of my life from before the shit hit the fan. Not to rewrite the past, but to live the life I maybe would have lived if I had done everything right the first time, and really had my shit together.
I was thinking about what really made the period between 2004-2005 one of the best times of my life - and the fact was that while I was involved with the RP, what I was doing, nearly every night, was engaging with people creatively for several hours at a time. Not just responding to posts or reblogging stuff. The only other time that ever happened was with the Watchmen community on /pco/ (before our thread was saged) and when they moved to LJ (before the momentum was lost a year or so after the film was released. Because yes, that momentum really is hard to keep up for years at a time.) Those were the two best experiences I ever had on the internet, and possibly in my life.
And this kind of creative interaction is really what LiveJournal was best at as a social media platform, which is probably why the fanfic community adopted it in the first place in the early 00s.
A Tori Amos quote (from the liner notes for the song "Bells For Her") keeps coming back to the forefront of my mind: "Yet they were making mudpies and creating and it's void now." And this is what I have been missing. This is what made Tumblr feel so empty even though I kept going back, over and over. This is why I just couldn't make it work with the TRON fanfic community. While I had a few good drabbles that were basically one-shot scenes or character studies that were well received, no one was really interested in a crossover with Blade Runner.
The Matrix fandom on Reddit has exploded, but the Discords are kinda slow. I'm not seeing a new fanfic community rising out of the ashes - yet. Again, I may just have to be the content I want to see on the internet for a while.
Current Mood:
I think this is my midlife crisis.
And it may be shared. I have seen so many Gen Xers come out of the woodwork going "NEW MATRIX FILM OMG" and honestly it's rather gratifying after hearing people sneer about the sequels for fifteen years. The fact that there are Gen Z kids seeing these films for the first time and going "Wait, people thought the sequels were bad???" is pretty awesome too.
But the theme that keeps coming up for me anyway is a real desire to reclaim the period of my life from before the shit hit the fan. Not to rewrite the past, but to live the life I maybe would have lived if I had done everything right the first time, and really had my shit together.
I was thinking about what really made the period between 2004-2005 one of the best times of my life - and the fact was that while I was involved with the RP, what I was doing, nearly every night, was engaging with people creatively for several hours at a time. Not just responding to posts or reblogging stuff. The only other time that ever happened was with the Watchmen community on /pco/ (before our thread was saged) and when they moved to LJ (before the momentum was lost a year or so after the film was released. Because yes, that momentum really is hard to keep up for years at a time.) Those were the two best experiences I ever had on the internet, and possibly in my life.
And this kind of creative interaction is really what LiveJournal was best at as a social media platform, which is probably why the fanfic community adopted it in the first place in the early 00s.
A Tori Amos quote (from the liner notes for the song "Bells For Her") keeps coming back to the forefront of my mind: "Yet they were making mudpies and creating and it's void now." And this is what I have been missing. This is what made Tumblr feel so empty even though I kept going back, over and over. This is why I just couldn't make it work with the TRON fanfic community. While I had a few good drabbles that were basically one-shot scenes or character studies that were well received, no one was really interested in a crossover with Blade Runner.
The Matrix fandom on Reddit has exploded, but the Discords are kinda slow. I'm not seeing a new fanfic community rising out of the ashes - yet. Again, I may just have to be the content I want to see on the internet for a while.
Current Mood:
