numb3r_5ev3n (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
numb3r_5ev3n) wrote2021-09-13 09:35 pm
numb3r_5ev3n) wrote2021-09-13 09:35 pm
Entry tags:
I'm sorry, everyone.
I fell off the map again.
Back in June, I finally saw a therapist and got on medication. And I thought I was doing ok. I went to some social functions, got out more than I had all year previously, things seemed to be picking up.
Except insomnia hit me really hard. And then the fourth wave of Covid hit really, really hard.
I have the opposite problem now. I've been sleeping most of the time when I haven't been working. I've adjusted the amount of melatonin I was on for the insomnia, and now I think I've achieved a workable balance. But aside from the issue with the meds, I came to realize that I was basically just trying to sleep through this last phase of the pandemic. I'm not dealing well with having to lockdown again. I'm not dealing very well with Greg Fucking Abbott and Motherfucking Texas. Everything is just happening so fucking much, all of the time. I feel so overwhelmed by it all.
But just trying to sleep through it all isn't a healthy response either, especially when there's going to be protesting about the attempted abortion ban in the near future, during the fourth wave of the ongoing pandemic.
I've been reading a little bit. I've rediscovered Witchcraft/Druidry. I've re-read Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig, and I've been reading Spiral Dance, and it's more my speed (and I'm glad Starhawk, the author, is pro trans rights, because some of the Boomer Council Of Elder Witches have not been great about intersectionality - and some, like Zsuzanna Budapest, are straight-up TERFs.)
And there's a Matrix Trailer! https://www.whatisthematrix.com is back online as an actual official Matrix site for the first time in forever! I want to be ecstatic about it. It's beautiful. It looks like everything I could ever ask for. And I'd be overjoyed about it if EVERYTHING WEREN'T HAPPENING SO MUCH.
But here it is, in all its glory:
Back in June, I finally saw a therapist and got on medication. And I thought I was doing ok. I went to some social functions, got out more than I had all year previously, things seemed to be picking up.
Except insomnia hit me really hard. And then the fourth wave of Covid hit really, really hard.
I have the opposite problem now. I've been sleeping most of the time when I haven't been working. I've adjusted the amount of melatonin I was on for the insomnia, and now I think I've achieved a workable balance. But aside from the issue with the meds, I came to realize that I was basically just trying to sleep through this last phase of the pandemic. I'm not dealing well with having to lockdown again. I'm not dealing very well with Greg Fucking Abbott and Motherfucking Texas. Everything is just happening so fucking much, all of the time. I feel so overwhelmed by it all.
But just trying to sleep through it all isn't a healthy response either, especially when there's going to be protesting about the attempted abortion ban in the near future, during the fourth wave of the ongoing pandemic.
I've been reading a little bit. I've rediscovered Witchcraft/Druidry. I've re-read Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig, and I've been reading Spiral Dance, and it's more my speed (and I'm glad Starhawk, the author, is pro trans rights, because some of the Boomer Council Of Elder Witches have not been great about intersectionality - and some, like Zsuzanna Budapest, are straight-up TERFs.)
And there's a Matrix Trailer! https://www.whatisthematrix.com is back online as an actual official Matrix site for the first time in forever! I want to be ecstatic about it. It's beautiful. It looks like everything I could ever ask for. And I'd be overjoyed about it if EVERYTHING WEREN'T HAPPENING SO MUCH.
But here it is, in all its glory:
no subject
no subject