numb3r_5ev3n (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
numb3r_5ev3n) wrote2026-10-16 09:02 pm
numb3r_5ev3n) wrote2026-10-16 09:02 pm
October 2026 progress report.
I'm struggling with writing a regular entry. Because I am, as The Kids say, Crashing Out.
Work is an absolute nightmare. Every day I fantasize about ragequitting and just driving out to the lake and planning what I'm going to do with the rest of my life from there. "Driving to Seattle or San Francisco and living in a commune" sounds romantic, but not very realistic.
I've been binge-listening to old recordings of Terence McKenna again, and thinking about how nice it would be to become a professional psychonaut like he was. Maybe in the era of Trump and the Social Media algorithm, it is time once again to Turn On, Tune In, and Drop out.
I have cut out nearly all social media, and I'm trying to limit my time on tumblr just a few hours a week. Because while issues with retaining stuff I read is a known ADHD symptom, I didn't really start to have problems with it myself until the advent of scrolling social media. Which means this has been an ongoing thing for nearly 20 years now. I can read fiction just fine, but I struggle with nonfiction, and I'm trying to fix this. Books that engage the reader directly in a conversational voice are easier than those that don't.
But it's terrible, because I can remember the time when I used to be able to read two or three books a week. And I never really wanted to admit it was a problem when it started to become a problem, or deal with it (because that would mean admitting it had become a problem.) I'm hoping that this is something I can build back up like a muscle.
I need to cut out youtube unless it pertains directly to something I am focusing on or working on, particularly short form videos.
So much stuff seems to be clickbait now. I hate that I can't tell how much of the projected Blue Wave midterm results are real or not, or if we're being psyopped. I've heard "we might flip Texas blue!" so often since 2016 that it feels like a put-on. Don't get me wrong, I got my voter registration sorted out right after I moved back at the end of June, and I'm early voting at the first opportunity I get. I'm just not expecting a miracle. Maybe we flip a few seats. Maybe we get a few people in who aren't Nazis. Maybe even enough people to start impeachment proceedings. I'd settle for that.
Also: I have no interest in remaining on any Web 2.0 social media if they are going to start livestreaming executions. I don't want to be anywhere where I might see anything like that. I heard today that they are no longer planning on doing this with the Fort Hood shooter. Which is a good thing if it's true, despite what he did. We don't need to turn into a place that does public executions. America's soul already isn't going to survive what MAGA is doing to it, but it's stuff like that which indicates a turn from a failed Democracy into a full-blown Banana Republic.
Tiktok is of course Right Out.
But I need to apologize to all my friends here. Back last June, I rejoined Reddit just to engage with the tech community, and it ended up eating my life to the point of basically being a second job again. So I deleted it for real this time. And I know I suck at keeping up with people at the best of times, and it must feel like I fell completely off the map again and stopped responding to people. But for a few months, Reddit was all-consuming. And it became all-consuming to the point of missing the emails that my cyberalfheim website domain was about to expire. And now I have to deal with the fact that it may have been picked up by either an AI or someone who is opposed to what I was doing with it.
The material is still up at neocities, but this sucks and I hate it that this happened. Six or so years ago I was considering giving it up and just merging that content on with the stuff already at Cyber Arcadia anyway, but I'm sorely tempted to finally dust off the dragoncourt dot org domain I bought three years ago and move it there, no matter who it may piss off.
In other news: I have watched the new Avatar spinoff (Seven Havens) and it's great! It's so obviously influenced by the art style of Jean Giraud/Moebius! It's totally worth seeing. So is American Horror Story's 13th season. Some folks on tumblr are complaining about it, particularly its continuity with past seasons. But I'm just enjoying the ride.
Work is an absolute nightmare. Every day I fantasize about ragequitting and just driving out to the lake and planning what I'm going to do with the rest of my life from there. "Driving to Seattle or San Francisco and living in a commune" sounds romantic, but not very realistic.
I've been binge-listening to old recordings of Terence McKenna again, and thinking about how nice it would be to become a professional psychonaut like he was. Maybe in the era of Trump and the Social Media algorithm, it is time once again to Turn On, Tune In, and Drop out.
I have cut out nearly all social media, and I'm trying to limit my time on tumblr just a few hours a week. Because while issues with retaining stuff I read is a known ADHD symptom, I didn't really start to have problems with it myself until the advent of scrolling social media. Which means this has been an ongoing thing for nearly 20 years now. I can read fiction just fine, but I struggle with nonfiction, and I'm trying to fix this. Books that engage the reader directly in a conversational voice are easier than those that don't.
But it's terrible, because I can remember the time when I used to be able to read two or three books a week. And I never really wanted to admit it was a problem when it started to become a problem, or deal with it (because that would mean admitting it had become a problem.) I'm hoping that this is something I can build back up like a muscle.
I need to cut out youtube unless it pertains directly to something I am focusing on or working on, particularly short form videos.
So much stuff seems to be clickbait now. I hate that I can't tell how much of the projected Blue Wave midterm results are real or not, or if we're being psyopped. I've heard "we might flip Texas blue!" so often since 2016 that it feels like a put-on. Don't get me wrong, I got my voter registration sorted out right after I moved back at the end of June, and I'm early voting at the first opportunity I get. I'm just not expecting a miracle. Maybe we flip a few seats. Maybe we get a few people in who aren't Nazis. Maybe even enough people to start impeachment proceedings. I'd settle for that.
Also: I have no interest in remaining on any Web 2.0 social media if they are going to start livestreaming executions. I don't want to be anywhere where I might see anything like that. I heard today that they are no longer planning on doing this with the Fort Hood shooter. Which is a good thing if it's true, despite what he did. We don't need to turn into a place that does public executions. America's soul already isn't going to survive what MAGA is doing to it, but it's stuff like that which indicates a turn from a failed Democracy into a full-blown Banana Republic.
Tiktok is of course Right Out.
But I need to apologize to all my friends here. Back last June, I rejoined Reddit just to engage with the tech community, and it ended up eating my life to the point of basically being a second job again. So I deleted it for real this time. And I know I suck at keeping up with people at the best of times, and it must feel like I fell completely off the map again and stopped responding to people. But for a few months, Reddit was all-consuming. And it became all-consuming to the point of missing the emails that my cyberalfheim website domain was about to expire. And now I have to deal with the fact that it may have been picked up by either an AI or someone who is opposed to what I was doing with it.
The material is still up at neocities, but this sucks and I hate it that this happened. Six or so years ago I was considering giving it up and just merging that content on with the stuff already at Cyber Arcadia anyway, but I'm sorely tempted to finally dust off the dragoncourt dot org domain I bought three years ago and move it there, no matter who it may piss off.
In other news: I have watched the new Avatar spinoff (Seven Havens) and it's great! It's so obviously influenced by the art style of Jean Giraud/Moebius! It's totally worth seeing. So is American Horror Story's 13th season. Some folks on tumblr are complaining about it, particularly its continuity with past seasons. But I'm just enjoying the ride.