Journal upkeep.

[numb3r_5ev3n]

1. I went ahead and locked all my posts from before 2016. I was going back down memory lane through my archives a few nights ago. And realized that I was a completely different person back then, and my attitudes about a lot of things have evolved since then. There has been a lot of "who is this person, I don't really recognize this person that I used to be." But I don't want to delete it.

I remember the people back in the day who would relocate and recreate their LJ almost every year ("new journal, new me!") That never made sense to me, but when you have literally 20 years of blog posts (omfg) it makes sense that maybe I'm not the same person anymore, and stuff from over a decade ago doesn't reflect me now.

2. I used to just blog about anything and everything that came into my head, and I really don't feel comfortable doing that anymore. Maybe to the opposite extreme that I used to. Like, "my head is a super uncomfortable place to be, and I don't feel like I should be inflicting that on other people."

3. I was lamenting the passage of Web 1.0 and inferring that maybe this Facebook thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be as far back as 2009, lol.

4. For a few years, I was subscribed to a service that posted my tweets directly to my LJ, as if that was the same thing as blogging. A bunch of context-free lines of text and links that went dead before long. Actually, I should probably go back and delete those.

I wish I could go back to 2009 and tell people that Facebook and Twitter would literally help to bring about the downfall of society. Because,





It occurred to me the other day that once praxis of internet use switched from being about networking in relative anonymity to being about "influencing" and "engagement" and "exposure," things really started to go off the rails. But somehow, platforms that have kept to the way things used to be seem to have more actual influence on culture. I mean, here's Elon Musk I mean, Adrian Dittman (or someone professing to be him) sucking up to excuse me, "keking" up to his "frens" on 4chan. Cringe.

Also: wow, the total capitulation of the mainstream media outlets to fascism sure is depressing, isn't it?

Nobody should be shocked. The idea that the NYT or Wapo or CNN were ever anti-Trump was a kayfabe. They were desperate to have him back, because he's good for their bottom line, and that's all they care about.

Welcome to the darkest timeline.

Comments

[sabotabby]

100%.

I've thought of locking down my old stuff, but I've never considered starting anew. I'm connected to this space. It's the only place I really go for connection, not exposure.

[flamingsword]

They really can’t stand to hire a real queer Black mother of two? Like, what is the cost-benefit analysis on alienating all your marginalized people in one fell swoop?

[numb3r_5ev3n]

I think their goal is to hire and pay as few actual people as possible.

[flamingsword]

Like, I get that, but in business you're supposed to do a cost-benefit analysis of literally every action, especially the public-facing ones. For reasons just like this racist, queerphobic rage-bait.

[numb3r_5ev3n]

I really don't think the big tech companies care about optics anymore. They're emboldened to treat us all like expendable peons and are full mask-off.

[sabethea]

Yeah, I definitely preferred the earlier internet in everything except speed of connection. Realised I’ve been journalling more than half my life on LJ/DW now, though there were a few lean years when I was too sick to do much.

Maybe I’m not the same person, but idk whether I’m better or worse, and scarily in many ways I am still very similar. Still no confidence. Still sick, queer, and childish.

I hope you’re happier now, though I know this world isn’t exactly made for it.