numb3r_5ev3n (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
numb3r_5ev3n) wrote2024-01-20 10:44 pm
numb3r_5ev3n) wrote2024-01-20 10:44 pm
This fucking week.
So Batrick is no longer with us.
I didn't know him as well or for as long and some others, but it's been hard. We had made indefinite plans to get together and watch this sometime in the unspecified future, but work bullshit and mental health stuff and covid surges kept getting in the way and now he's gone. Once again, I was maybe overcautious, I stayed mired in my routine, and now someone else is dead that I'll never get to see again.
I'm so tired of it being like this.
Like Flamingsword said, above: I'm so tired of this country killing my people.
We still don't know what happened. And the thought of Batrick leaving on purpose would be bad and awful enough. But - and I know this is terrible, I'm sorry for this - the thought that maybe he didn't plan it, it wasn't his intent, that it was some horrible avoidable mishap like what happened to Tenar, is somehow even worse.
I don't know if I ever talked about what happened to Tenar. She fell and got a concussion and never went to the doctor to get checked out, - because healthcare costs, amirite? and three days later she was dead.
Then there were Crystal and Cynthia back in the 2010s, both apparently killed by carelessness while they were already hospitalized (is it that hard to read a chart? Shouldn't you know what medicine to give and not to give if it says they're diabetic or they have a certain allergy? This seems like it would be Nursing School 101? I mean we all wring our hands over conspiracy theorists and people who distrust experts, but maybe some people have a good reason?)
More and more names come to mind the longer I think about it. Good people who still deserve to be here, while people like a certain Orange Fasciorapist are still alive and well and breathing air that should have gone to those who have now departed.
I know. I know. "Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends," and all that jazz.
I'm so sick of this happening, and I know it's just going to keep on getting worse.
On top of this - and after what I've just said, this seems ridiculously fucking trivial; there was a snafu at work, and I just did my 6th continuous day of work in a row over it.
Current Mood: This song still feels appropriate, for reasons laid out in this post. It feels like the anthem of a generation that is disappearing much too quickly.
Plus, I think Batrick would have dug dancing around in the garden in torn sheets in the rain.
Let's go crash that party down in normaltown tonight.
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It's so sad and horrible.
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I suppose we’ll see who gets the Ghost of Hanukkah Past, featuring Batrick (who was in the process of converting to Judaism when he died). I was looking forward to so many parts of Bat’s life, including his T journey.
Let me know if you want a memento of some kind?
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I was looking forward to so many parts of Bat’s life, including his T journey.
This featured heavily in my thoughts too. I even had to write a poem. :)
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