numb3r_5ev3n: Jerry Cornelius (Default)
This article made me snarf my coffee all over the goddamn monitor (epsecially the bolded parts below.)

Bin Laden 'fantasised over' Whitney Houston

OSAMA bin Laden, the al-Qaeda leader, was obsessed with the singer Whitney Houston and wanted to marry her, a new book claims.

Kola Boof, a Sudanese poet and novelist, who says she was kept against her will as the terrorism mastermind's mistress in 1996, writes in her autobiography that he wanted to give the star a mansion and make her one of his wives.

"He told me that Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen," Boof claims in Diary of a Lost Girl, excerpts of which are published in Harper's magazine.

But bin Laden had less respect for Houston's husband Bobby Brown, apparently talking about the possibility of having him killed.

"He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of some day spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar," Boof writes.

"He said he wanted to give Whitney Houston a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum.

"He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives."

Bin Laden would speak constantly about "how beautiful she [Houston] is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women's husbands killed."

Boof, who also says the al- Qaeda leader would "ramble on" about his favourite TV shows, The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGyver, adds: "In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the star, as well as copies of Playboy ... It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name."

Bin Laden was first married in 1974, at the age of 17, to Najwa Ghanem, his mother's niece.

Although bin Laden has reportedly married four other women, he divorced one, Umm Ali bin Laden, a university lecturer, who studied in Saudi Arabia, and spent holidays in Khartoum, Sudan, where Osama later settled during his exile in the years 1991 to 1996.

The three latter wives of bin Laden were all university lecturers.

The al-Qaeda leader has fathered at least 24 children. His wife Najwa reportedly has 11 children by him.


But wait, it could've worked! She could have infiltrated his harem, gotten him stoned, and given away the location of his evil lair! *cues "Team America" theme.*

BTW, I love my new job. Server maintanance kicks @$$!
numb3r_5ev3n: Jerry Cornelius (l337)
Ok, what does it say about me that my two favorite authors are Michael Moorcock and Phillip K. Dick? ;;>_>

Also, I love my job. I'm almost done with yet another 16-hour shift. Here are some of the highlights from today:

An humorous account of a conversation that transpired between myself and a courier this morning. )


COWORKER: [Upon learning that V in V FOR VENDETTA was portrayed by "Agent Smith"]


ME: "LOLOLOLOL Miiiiiiiiiiiiiis-ter AAAAAAaaaaaaaandersoooon!"



MY BOSS [witnessing a near-wreck in the parking lot over the cameras] "OH SNAP!"



SAME COWORKER [during shift-change, conspiratorally] "Snakes on a plane."

ME: "Snakes on a Plaaaaaaaaane."


Now do you all see why I love this job? ^_^
numb3r_5ev3n: Jerry Cornelius (Default)
XD OMG. He really NEEDS that computer!

*DIES* This isn't mine, btw.

Oh hell, have some more...again, not mine.

Han Solo Doesn't Change Facial Expressions.

Conan O'Brian has Milton's Stapler!

"I picked the wrong week to quit sniffin' glue."

Smith gets Jean-Luc Picard!

And on a more Somber note - a Ten bell salute to Eddie Guerrero.


numb3r_5ev3n: Jerry Cornelius (Default)

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