So I was judging myself super hard for the fibromyalgia until i started getting closer to people like Bat, who knew more about disability justice than I did. Being on tumblr helped a lot with that, weirdly, because you have people arguing back and forth and expressing all the different viewpoints (some of which I had) and refuting parts of them and saying why they were bullshit. It made it a lot easier to clear the bullshit out of my own head when I wasn't alone in thinking things that were unfair or learning to do better at the pace that changing your brain from lifelong acculturated habits takes.

Do I blame you or myself for having those "weakness = moral failure" type of thinking habits? Nah. But just because they're understandable in our environment doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to learn about and then break the ones that you still have, including the "everything I have believed is my fault" view of the self. We humans are creatures of context, and you didn't control the culture and context in which you were brought up any more than i did.