So the CBT workbook I am doing is kinda all about finding and challenging negative beliefs. If you want to follow along on a your-eyes-only locked post, that might help?

You appear to have some underlying beliefs about other people's judgements that I would like to point out.

Is porn bad just because people look down on it?

Do you accept the judgment of people you do not like or agree with as valid to your life and your work?

Is masturbation a bad thing to be compared to?

Is difficulty writing a moral failing of your choosing that you treat yourself this way over it?

As for myself, I may be finishing all stories before I post them. I am deciding that praise is fine, but that it will only come after I am done, bc it interrupts my process. I don't need to be doing this by what other people think. I have now won part of a Hugo: fuck what other people think.

I hope that helps.