numb3r_5ev3n: Mettaton NEO from Undertale (Default)

The Onion

Fabled Burger King Employee Places Single Onion Ring In Everyone's Fries

MUNDELEIN, IL—A legendary Burger King employee, known across the land for the heroic and selfless deed of randomly inserting a single onion...

If only!

Aug. 17th, 2007 11:26 pm
numb3r_5ev3n: Mettaton NEO from Undertale (Default)
Mysterious Congressman Announces Dark Horse Candidacy

The Onion

Mysterious Congressman Announces Dark Horse Candidacy

WASHINGTON, DC— Earning a distinctive reputation for promoting fiscal responsibility and civil rights, he is currently the only senator who casts votes via flaming arrow.

Ha.

Apr. 7th, 2007 09:56 pm
numb3r_5ev3n: Mettaton NEO from Undertale (Default)
numb3r_5ev3n: Mettaton NEO from Undertale (Default)
Sometimes the Onion hits it head-on, as they do right here, in their "American Voices" segment.

Christian Student Sues For Right To Hate Speech
Ruth Malhotra, a student at the Georgia Institute of Technology, sued the institution over her right to speak freely against homosexuality in accordance with her religion. What do you think?


My favorite comment is this one:

Louis Neprud, Systems Analyst
"If we don't protect freedom of speech, how will we know who the assholes are?"


XD It's funny 'cause it's true. So the next time I am angered by the mindless patterings of some neo-nazi goon or homophobic moron, I'll just remember the statement above.

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